Sleepless Nights

10 o'clock at night watching my dog as she steps towards her bed. Each step, a little shiver ripples through her tan fur.  She looks at me with that look a child gives their parent when they feel something wrong inside them and they need a reassuring voice to gently give them hope.   5 months since her diagnoses by not one but two vets of complete kidney failure.  She defies logic and medical knowledge with her spunk and determination.

In the other room,  a foster lays in a state of confusion and fear.  Blinded 7 months ago by a medical condition, old age is adding more weight to her little world.  Where once the steady arms I wrapped around her gave her comfort, now seem to hold her down in what seems to be a flight from inpending death.

We have or will someday have to face the moment when our pets, our companions are no longer that bouncing bundle of fur.  No longer do we come home to barks of joy and dancing paws, licks and hugs.

We don't want to think of that and just dwell upon the now,  but it is important to think ahead so that you will remember deeply and more strongly about the times you are enjoying  with them now so that those memories will hold back the crumbling wall that keeps the grief from taking over.

So, as I go over and sit next to Anja's bed to rub that little crease between her eyes that she likes me to do,  I remember the first time she ran down the road to greet her new family and know that she was given a good life.  And if I wake in the morning to be greeted by big licks on the face,  it means that God has granted me another day with one of his special angels.

Getting up and letting all our little ones out for their morning run in the backyard,  I will gather up the old blind foster, hoping she will once again find solace and comfort in my arms as I place her gently in the back of the yard for her walkabout.   My wife and I will sit in the cool breeze on our patio, sipping coffee and relaxing while our babies play. It will be a good day....a day to remember.